Things people say

When it comes to Alopecia, there are many things people say to you... some of them supportive, some of them condescending, some of them curious, and some of them just plain cruel.

I have had people ask me how my chemo is going. I've had a car full of some idiots yell 'dyke' out the car window at me. I've had people say at least you have a pretty face. I've had people stand up for me on the train and bus because they assumed I have cancer... you know what they say about assume? 

And you know what, I took the seat. I told the idiots at the traffic lights I have alopecia (followed by a choice word or two), I told the lady I'm not going through chemo, I have alopecia. 

Most of the time these sorts of comments are water off a duck's back yet sometimes I do get riled up and if I'm caught having a bad day, I may retaliate... an example of this was while I was at the gym and this big bloke kept staring at me. I went to fill my water bottle, he cut me off to have a drink and kept staring at me while he was drinking. I then went to get on the treadmill, end of the row, every single other treadmill empty. Five minutes in, he gets onto the treadmill directly next to me (and everyone hates this at the best of times). He continued to stare at me, and I just jumped off, looked at him and asked "What? What do you want?" He looked a bit surprised I confronted him but then asked me 'why I would shave my head? Women are meant to have long hair'... I took my cap off and told him to I have alopecia and fuck off (excuse my French). It was one of those times where you think up the better comment after the event, and I wish I said to him that just like he can't help the way he looks, I can't help having alopecia. But hindsight is a funny thing.

One comment I frequently get is "it must be so much fun being able to change your hair colour and style on a whim"... I usually explain that I would much rather have hair and not have to think about it and not have to stress about it. 

Some comments that I have received are out of genuine curiosity and that is fine. I had an ex boyfriend's little brother ask me why I had no hair on the back of my head. He was 5. I explained what alopecia was. I've had little kids ask their parents what was wrong with my hair and then they're quickly shushed... kids are naturally curious and they should be allowed to ask questions. If they get shushed, it teaches them that there is something wrong with that person. It dampens curiosity and can stop people from learning. I am always happy to explain what alopecia is if it comes from a place of kindness and curiosity.

Until next time

Chloe xxx